We Were Children

It’s nearly 2am and as the rain pitter-patters along the corners of my window ledges they remind me if faint memories. 
From them I move on.

Somehow we’ve grown as people, huh?

Doors close, chapters end.

Dirt rolls of the body in a bath of time stained storys bleached by the sun barely recognizable.

The only thing resonating in those now hollow spaces of the mind is laughter. Yet somehow filled within the cracks is the sweet smell of summer grass. The motion of twirling and smiling left behind each time I pass through the wooden door frame of the untamed garden.

I send silent prayers asking for things I no longer remember.

Billy the Cactus

I started working at a greenhouse for the summer. So far the job entails answering questions for people who know more about the topic of discussion than you do, planting, labeling, seeding, and occasionally doing the task of your job description. I love it. I also get to work with a cat so there’s really no downsides here.

Today we got a shipment of cacti… Cactuses? Anyway I got one. It’s a paddle Cactus. It’s name is Billy. I’ve named all my other plants with girl names… And they all died. One because I wasn’t home to water it and the heat was up so high in order to prevent pipe bursts. The poor succulent likey dried up after 3 days. The other was a very fickle Hyacinth that no matter what I did refuse to stay alive…. So maybe if it has a boy name it will live this time (and I’ll be a better plant mom….)

Always bring Underwear

This weekend has been everywhere. And I haven’t posted here so long it’s not fair to you guys! So here’s a bit of what’s happened in my life so far.

I graduated for those of you who don’t follow my Instagram. That was great… Post graduation is looking sketchy but I’m gonna figure it out. I’m up to the challenge. 

We passed through this windy road on the way home because the GPS decided to get creative when we asked for shortest route instead of fastest time. Admittedly I would have never known about such a quaint location had it not been for that. I got to see a turtle crossing which was neat… But it was a picture of a sea turtle in a forest. I live in Canada. But the most remarkable part of that winding road was the fence full of underwear, specifically bras. (And I read online that there was a fence in New Zealand just like it at one point.) Now I thought it was some sort of makeshift tourist attraction. But my mom thought it was created by a murderer… 

I lost my phone at one point… That wasn’t all that great. But thankfully someone found it. All in all there has been a lot of adjustments in my life, a lot of weird moments, but you take life as is comes. Stand against the waves. And pack extra underwear.

One Million Goodbyes

Today I said goodbye to the school I have been with for two months. I will be moving across the country and I can’t really take them with me. (it would be great though) They were some cool kids. Some days they made me smile like nothing else. I’ll miss them all like crazy. 

But it is the start to many goodbyes. Goodbye to the job I’ve had for nearly 5 years. Goodbye to the many classes and teachers I’ve had. Goodbye to the friends I’ll leave behind. Even some not so friends. But I hope they know I love them all the same. 

Love and Hate

Each day I wished I could hate.

I wished I could forget and stay angry.

But it hurt more to be angry than it did to forgive and love.

Octopuses and Life

Hello good people! I have another post for you! Who has seen those cute new octopuses? Octopi? The cute ones that look like Dumbo or Pacman ghosts…. I love them. I have wanted to draw one for like a month or so… Possibly since they blew up on facebook months ago. I sometimes don’t get around to drawing stuff because my brain is like “that’s fun… But I also wanna draw another pretty girl” smh…. I finally did it! I’m proud of myself.

In life though there are times when it’s not just our brain thinking up more ideas. Sometimes it’s the idea that we can’t. Sometimes it’s just that it’s too hard. Sometimes it’s not even that deep. We migjt just… Not like it. I got this thought when I was listening to a Video by one of my favourite artists Frannerd. There’s going to be parts of everything no matter how much we like it that we like less. I love to draw, but I don’t like to practice because for a long time it’s always something that csme easy to me. I didn’t want to have to work at it. But I’m glad that I stick through it because I have these cute octopi to show you. And I could only have shown them to you if I practiced as hard as I did… Even though I don’t like to practice.

Coachella Confidence

I’ve always loved the idea of Coachella, but I never get to go because I sort of live in a place that doesn’t really know it exists. Maybe next year I’ll have time and be in the right place. But maybe I’ll be traveling the world. 

But I also want to speak about confidence. It’s something we all think about, and probably all want. But I was thinking about it a lot for the last few days. I play a lot of sims. And a lot of the time I find myself playing and creating people who do all the things I want to do that maybe I don’t have the time to do, maybe not the money. But most of the time it’s things I don’t think I could do. Or I’m scared people will say no. A lot of the time confidence is convincing yourself that you can.

Loveless

She’s searching for love like a toddler in a grocery store looking for their mother. She’s a girl searching for her heavenly Father by running every which way to find something to replace an emptiness that can only be filled with water from a well that never runs dry. Woman at the well tings. Got 5 husbands but it still not enough tings.

Man at Bethesda

“Take up your bed and walk”

Sometimes I wait for God to simply just do something about my circumstances when I could get up and do something with what I had.

And at other times I’m like the Pharisees who make rules and I limit God’s work in my life by placing limitations on my heart’s ability to trust his leading.

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