things i found on a date with myself 

Yesterday was blazing hot. And if you live anywhere where the weather is consistently in consistent, I imagine you are aware of the agony of finding appropriate day clothing. Though that’s kind of an aside. It was so hot I went for a walk at sunset to avoid burning to death. While I was on this walk I got a look at all the cute wild plants, and some scenery.

One set of people came up the hill together likely on a date. I’m not really sure why, but when they saw me it became silent, and there was this awkward air between myself and them even though I know without a doubt that I have never seen those kids in my life. Come to think of it now, it was probably more to do with them and the probable not so appropriate things they were about to get into (considering that the sun was basically setting and everyone was going home) than it was about me. Yet, for a moment, it made me feel insecure.

In case you didn’t know. I’m single. I have been single for a while. Most days it doesn’t bother me because the way I see it, I would rather be single than continue in the train wreak of bad relationships that I’ve been in previously. Perhaps it was the setting of a beautiful trail near a lake (and their awkward stares) that made it different. I then decided that I needed to change my thinking. There is nothing wrong with taking a walk with myself.

“Or know ye not that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit which is in you, which ye have from God…”
– 1 Corinthians 6:19 (ASV)

Sometimes we just need to be with ourselves for a moment just to breathe, and understand ourselves. To love ourselves. And if you’re like me, and you want to love everyone, you find it hard to love just yourself. There’s a popular thought, that you can never love anyone if you don’t love yourself. It’s easy to think that people who say this are narcissists, or selfish, but narcissism is more of a self worship than a self-love, and any relationship where the one worships the other will likely fall apart. I’m not an expert though. I mean taking time to listen to your feelings, taking care of your health, connecting with God (or your other of choice), the kind of things that if you do them to someone else, their life improves. 1 Corinthians 6:19 says “Or know ye not that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit which is in you, which ye have from God…” Meaning, the body we have been given is a gift. We only have one, we need to take care of it. We need to take care of ourselves so that we can be the loving and helpful people we want to be. So it’s okay to be alone for a while. If the time is spent right, there will be great love to give if someone else ever comes along.

 

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